PADDY

By Adam Docker

“What a face!! Those were my first thoughts when I first saw Paddy as we turned into a backstreet car park on a gritty estate on the outskirts of Dublin. We were about to film inside a local gym and as we were getting our camera gear from the boot of the car, he appeared out of nowhere, circling us. Prowling between the cars, his gaze firmly on us. It was an unsettling presence. He looked menacing and was clearly suspicious of all our cameras. As we loaded our equipment into the gym he followed us from a distance, his eyes locked, his jaw set.

The gym owner chuckled and told us not to worry, Paddy was well known in the area.

During filming, all I kept thinking about was Paddy. I was hoping he would still be outside when we finished as I really wanted to take his portrait. In my head I was going through all the different ways of how to approach him. There was just something about him I was really curious to find out.

As we went back into the car park, Paddy was there, like a fox sniffing for its prey. I approached him. His first question was whether we were the police. I reassured him we were definitely not the police and just a film crew. I asked him if I could take his portrait. He agreed. I got him to stand against a wall and he easily began turning on different poses. He was obviously loving the attention.

I noticed his fists were cut and bleeding from fight wounds. He told me he was known as the ‘local shithead’. He had been shot at, knifed, beaten, had been set on and had his face mauled by pit bulls, he was involved with the local drug dealers and gangs. He was definitely…unique.

I did take some wide shots, but I felt they took away from the real story, a lifetime of battles and traumas that had carved the features and expressions on his face.

As he leaned against the wall, a shard of light broke through the thick grey clouds and I used it as my key light on his face.

A few months after these photos were taken I received an email that Paddy had died. I wasn’t told how. I was asked if they could use these portraits for his remembrance.

I love this triptych. The slight shifts in angle and light reveal new fragments. Each frame stands alone, but together they echo an imprint of Paddy that will live on far beyond that grey Dublin afternoon.”